You know , as a baby boomer, relationships have valley floors and mountain top experiences. And you want to know how to stay on the "mountain top" all the time. Right? Well it may be easier than you think to stay closer to the mountain top. No guarantees, however, about the "very top" though.
We will get to that in a moment but first- Too many of us boomers thought it was all about "the feeling". When the feeling was there we were at peace with ourselves and the world around us. We discovered a new meaning to the phrase "wedded bliss" However when the feeling had departed it was a different story. We thought about searching for a new relationship with the same "feeling". A happily married boomer of 26 years I did that only to realize it would be the biggest mistake of my life.
Because the not-so-good feeling that had been created, in our floundering relationship, was partly my creation. I was responsible for it and without fixing the root cause it was going linger in my boomer life like the "knockout stench" which follows me when I step on something, that I shouldn't have, on the sidewalk. In my search for the root cause I made a new discovery on relationship restoration. Step one in the discovery was that my life was not ruled by feelings. It was, and still very much is, ruled by choices. Feelings come upon you as a boomer.
That you may not be able to stop. However the impact on your relationship of your negative feelings towards your spouse can be controlled. You control what goes on in your head. You control whether you hold a negative thought for 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week or a boomer lifetime. Yes, your thoughts are that far-reaching.
You do not control what goes on in your life partner's head. Think about that. Only the territory standing in your shoes can reasonably be expected to respond to your control. Embrace that and it will change your relationship forever.
Step two was I had to stop thinking the boomer relationship restoration process was going to begin the moment my wife started making some changes in her attitude, thoughts and conversation towards me. You can benefit from this discovery by being the first to make changes. You can choose to change your thoughts and the words you use in conversations with your partner. You would have grasped by now the idea of you making changes first. And your loved one follows. Even when you're not expecting them to.
It just takes a decision on their part. And here's the amazing part. Your relationship restoration begins not when you've made the first kind boomer remark. It begins the moment you made a decision to make changes in your life. As a seasoned boomer relationship restoration expert I have watched this process many times. And it never fails.
Step three was to be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I didn't start playing the "blame game" whenever something went wrong. Now you've entered your boomer years you can't to play the game the way your father did in the days of your youth. You have to accept responsibility for the failure events that come your way as a once happily married person. Your relationship will continue to grow as long as you maintain a life ruled by choices, and directed by your willingness to make changes in your life when challenges in the partnership arise, as well as, being driven by your desire to accept responsibility for negative outcomes.
You can prove the Surprising New Discovery on Relationship Restoration by centering your relationship oin quality choices, a "me first to change" attitude, and taking ownership of errors. May you find new meaning the phrase "wedded bliss". Copyright (C) All Rights Reserved Ken Little.
Ken Little is a writer, teacher, public speaker and publisher of a classic - Get your Free ebook "How I Became Young at Sixty" by going to: http://www.Young-at-Sixty.com/get-your-f-r-e-e-ebook.htm